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Saturday
Jul032010

Round 1 Fight 6

VS

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With a honking bellow of glee from the Asian Abomination, the fight is underway. Hellpotamus wastes no time in charging to close with his opponent, thundering through a pelting storm of bullets that get buried in rubbery flesh and ricochet off sheets of bone and lead plate. His chimpen mahout waves his pistol and screams, but pandamander darts from vantage point to vantage point with slithering alacrity, making a clean headshot impossible (especially since a chimp is holding the gun)...

The Hippo takes a volley of bullets to the knee and crumples at top speed, rolling into an earthshaking powerslide and rubbing its own back raw in corrosive spilt bile. As it skids past its assailant it unleashes a searing spray of chunder that badly burns the gleeful abomination's lower body, but the panda feels no pain from salamander nerves and keeps on firing juddering bursts of lead into the face of the hippo...

The foul chimp, having leapt from the back of his steed during its catastrophic skid, hunkers down in the shadow of the behemoth as it slowly sizzles and bleeds to death. Bullets from the panda thud endlessly into the flank of the expiring beast, forcing the chimp to keep his head down - this is going to be a waiting game...

Still grinning and wanting to mix things up a little after twenty minutes drilling a dying hippo full of bullets, the Ursine Atrocity scampers down from its firing position and climbs the carcass. The chimp is up in a split second, levelling the revolver at the beast and squeezing the trigger frantically. 

Click...

Click...

Clickclickclickclick....

FUCK YOUUUUUUU

On the fifth pull of the trigger the chimp finally gets off a shot, but not before Pandamander gets off a shot of his own. Bullets slam through foreheads and the beasts collapse limply against each other, like exhausted lovers on the unmade bed of a dissolving hippo.

MUTUAL KO

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